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up and down.

Up:

I’m so much better now. My voice is back. I no longer sneeze every 60 seconds. My head does not feel as if it’s been stuffed with cotton.

Down:

I may have a sinus infection. I feel run-down. I have no money to see a doctor to make sure it’s not a sinus infection, in spite of the fact I have health insurance. I pay $200 a month for health insurance, but it’s an HRA account, meaning they give you a certain amount of money up front to use on doctor appointments, but once you blow through that – which is typically at your well check-up for the year – it’s all on you until you hit the out-of-pocket maximum amount. And my plan’s maximum amount is a number I will never ever hit in an enrollment year, unless I need brain surgery…which some days I think may not be a bad idea asking a doctor about getting. I mean, why aren’t brain transplants a thing yet, like nose jobs?

I am not mad at the insurance company for this situation; they’ll cover whatever you want them to cover…for a price. Who I am annoyed at is/are the individual or individuals who decided on the coverage plan options from the insurance company for state employees, and the high price points for employees they chose. (But now I’m heading off on a whole ‘nother topic and this is not my point – my point is: I’m broke, bloke.) (Thank god for white blood cells, huh?)

Up: 

I had good news at work yesterday. I’m going to talk to my boss to beg for something Big. If I am granted the something Big, my work stress will reduce by nearly 100% and I will shut my trap regarding public education complaints forever and ever.

Down:

Ha, just joking. Public education is fraught with issues. I’ll probably have something sarcastic to say at least every now and then.

Up:

I married (and separated from) a really good person. I mean, really, really good, you guys. I told him about my money situation, and he picked up as much slack as he possibly could for me so I can pay off my credit card debt as much as possible. Several things have been removed from my financial plate, and I can’t tell you what a relief that is.

Down: 

There is no down to follow that. Marry carefully; if the marriage doesn’t work and you’ve got assets and/or kid/s, you’ll want to dismantle with someone good and kind and full of love. Maturity helps, too. I married a really mature human being.

Up: 

I know a lot of really good, kind people. Some of these people I know very well. I get to hang out with them face-to-face often or at least once in awhile. Or I don’t know them very well at all, just from social media. But these are people who don’t judge me when I have kind of a paranoid freak-out. And they’re supportive and understanding. They aren’t smothering or overbearing. They aren’t using me in any way. They don’t put a lot of expectations on me, and they are cool with me not having a lot of expectations on them. Their friendship is truly a gift (a gift being something you just give someone because you want to, not because you’re hoping they’ll do something in return), and my cup overfloweth like a Hawaiian waterfall. Really, sometimes I think about all of the really magnificent human beings who are out there in the world, whose paths have for some reason crossed with mine, and I am simply amazed that there are people so inherently kind and good and positive and free with their love, it just makes me happy. So very, very happy.

Which really helps when you feel like you need to sleep for 48 hours straight.

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