holiday reflection things.

Oh hai, Reader(s). Here I ammmmm!! I’ve been having a holiday season. Trying to stay afloat at work, trying not to overspend myself into the poor house (I have one foot in, one foot out right now), and just generally breathing in with the good/out with the bad.

Let’s talk about just the GOOD right now:

miss m got her very wished for kitten. she cried when she realized what was really happening. she thought she was getting another harley quinn doll, but then realized it was a kitten named harley quinn.
they complete each other.

*Human beings. WOW. Not all of them. Just the ones I keep around. I have kept some really, really good ones around.

*Right before Christmas, I finally went to my mailbox to get all the bills I needed to pay and found two gift cards for $50. For no reason. I don’t know who sent these, but I think it was a family member. Just because they knew my married surname (I never legally adopted C’s surname when we married, and if…gigantic, ridiculously huge IF…I ever get married again, I won’t adopt the next man’s either, because why change one patriarchal surname for another? HE can change HIS if having the same surname is that important). I’ve offtracked myself with feminism, I’m sorry.

At any rate, this gift made me shocked and then cry, and it DID help Santa this Christmas with stocking stuffers. And Miss M is going to go wild in Toys-R-Us buying all the things $50 will buy her. Thank you thank you thank you to this lovely example of a human being. I hope I can pay it forward to someone else one day.

*Next, my mom and my stepfather bought me a new laptop. Y’all. These are the same people who took me and Miss M to Disney World in April. I can’t even. I’m tearing up just thinking about it, because this Chromebook is getting old and now I can really write. I can download writing programs like Scrivener and try to focus better. (If only they sold “focus better” online, and in stores.) And they’re giving me a printer to go with it. I’m like a real adult now and stuff. I just need to focus better and stop eating out. And find a sugar daddy to pay off my credit card debt.

*Third, love. I have a lot of love around me, and on Christmas I felt it. It made up for any emotional drama leading up to this holiday, which a friend of mine calls “Stressmas,” and I quite agree.

…I think that’s why December 26, at 3:00 AM I woke up nauseous and puked up all of Christmas dinner for about 40 minutes and then spent the rest of the day on the sofa asleep or listlessly watching bad TV (except for an airing of Beetlejuice. I so enjoyed getting to see that fun 1988 movie again and I’m glad Winona Ryder is still magnificent). Too many holiday cookies, too much Stressmas.

Christmas Night, 2016. I felt fine, just FINE, in this picture.
December 26, Morning. Feel like death warmed over. Sleeps all day. Makes a large pot of coffee, drinks none of it because Sleeps all day. Gets up, makes another large pot of coffee, doesn’t drink it because goes back to sleep. ALL DAY.

*And last, little Miss Quinn. She’s still getting used to us, and likes to wake up at 6:00 AM to play Pounce on the Feet with My Stinging Sharp Claws. Such a fun game. Miss M keeps going, “But WHY does she DO that??” or “WHY does she do THIS??” and I keep going, “Because she’s an animal, baby. Welcome to the world of owning a pet, and especially a kitten.” Earlier this evening, Quinn was asleep on the floor and M went to wake her up. I stopped her and said, “Leave her alone…she’s little and needs to rest.” And M goes, “But she wakes US up, so I’m just doing it back to her.” And I just made M leave. Because I didn’t feel well and it’s just too hard to explain animal psychology and personality to an 8 year old who has her own abnormal psychology issues.

Quinn is making me too happy. Other than having to scoop litter again, I am in kitten bliss. She likes to play, and watching her makes my heart too happy. And she snuggles, but only when completely exhausted. She’s all cat – likes you a lot more when you’ve got food or something to offer that she wants, cuddles on her terms not yours. Runs never walks. I heart her sweetness quite a lot.

Sweet girl. This is a rare sighting of her asleep. Mostly she runs around and slides across wood floors.

I didn’t have a whole lot under the tree this year…I really reigned it in (and STILL overspent what I’d budgeted…I am a piece of work, I tell ya). I was worried it would bother M, but she just likes being able to open presents, really, so I let her open mine too.

I fear this blog entry isn’t as amusing or entertaining as others I’ve written – it feels kind of boringly normal and like one of those: LOOK WHAT I’M EATING!! pictures people (including me) like to put on social media sometimes, god only knows why.

So let’s do this – Santa/aka ME got me a card game called THINGS this year. This is the kids’ version but there’s also a randy adult version I’ll probably get just for those moments I need to be incredibly entertained while alone or…not. And it’s a bit like Apples to Apples, where you draw cards and try to figure out what will make one of the players choose yours. In this game, a Reader picks a card, reads the topic, and then each player writes down one response. The Reader gets all the responses back and tries to guess who said which response. (These are the kinds of games I can play all day long…ridiculous Never Have I Ever or Truth or Dare kinds of psychological dramas. I am what I am.)

So I picked a couple of topics to answer (all 5 are my own responses since this is the Play By Yourself version) but first can I share the Miss M response I found to the card topic “THINGS…monsters do in your closet while waiting to scare you.”

1-Twerk (why my 8 year old even KNOWS about this is evidence I suck, quite often, at being a mom).

2-Take care of a baby.

3-Kill something else inside the closet.

4-Get a pet.

5-Drink other children’s blood. (Nice. Like a closet The Krampus.)

See how innocent and sweet she is, when not talking about twerking or closet Krampuses (Krampii?)?

He’s never had to visit us…yet. He’s never had to visit us YET.

My turn!

Topic #1: THINGS…that are better in Europe:

1-Accents (I submit all of the UK…except Cockney…as evidence)

2-Cheese (I don’t know why I think this, I just do) and beer (I just have a general suspicion European beer is better, too…even though it’s warm)

3-Borders (I’ve always loved that, in Europe, you can just go spend a day in like France or wherever and drive to get there, if you’re close enough…we don’t have that here. Here, I can only drive to spend a day in like Tennessee or South Carolina which just aren’t as exciting as France.) (No offense, Tennessee and South Carolina, but you are not as exciting as France.)

4-Repression (Americans are such a repressed people…in Europe, nude sunbathing starts at like age 3 or something crazy)

5-History (America has an ancient history, but because we’re such d-bags about our native peoples, no one in school ever learns about it unless they go to college and take a special class).

Topic #2: THINGS…that make your heart beat faster.

1-Accents (I submit all of the UK…except Cockney…as evidence)

2-Difficult confrontations, arguments, and getting in trouble with authority figures šŸ˜¦

3-Men who stroke my hair gently out of my face.

4-Getting to hang out with someone I like lotsĀ 

5-Sex (not that I do that anymore)


Topic #3: THINGS…you would like to make a film about.

(These are all story/novel topic ideas as well…since I can’t seem to wrap my brain around script writing)

1-A dramedy about stalkingĀ 

2-A sweeping biopic based on my dad’s family

3-A paranormal romcom

4-A period romance with a pirate prince

5-A feminist tale set in a post-Trump dystopic America

see you next year, Santa!